在欲望与理想的夹缝中生存

This coming wednesday is my first anniversary in Great Eastern. As it happens to be the pay roll date as well, next week will be my happiest week. 

 

Things have changed me more than I have changed them in the past 12 month. Even in my Uni days, I could never imagine myself to sing Karaokie twice in one single week, to play pool at least once per week, or to watch movie in theatre every Wednesday. A special thanks to Cathay, as their promotional price of 2 @ 6 dollars make it possible for me to watch every week.

 

I went to a simple health screening last week. The disgusting sales person made me feel like I am going to die soon so that they can sell the products to me before I die. Though nobody totally agree with what they said, it is time for me to pick up some regular daily exercise and go to gym regularly. I have to make a choice between Califonia, Fitness First, does any one has any suggestions?  

 

In the movie Panda, there is one phrase I like very much, though I have forgotten the extact expression. It says something like, Past cannot be changed, future is not certain, and now is a gift, that is why it is called "Present". It is very true: I should stop complaining the past, or dreaming the futures. It is a time when I should start enjoying every single moment I have, be it the departure, separation or even ammagedon the next day. However it is always easier said than done. There are too much work awaiting me on Monday, and I will probably OT until mid-night, I must find a way to enjoy it before tomorrow dawn.

 

The only sorrow I have nowadays is that I finally discovered my stomach cannot tahan seafood. One whole week (five days only) of sea food, free flow of smoke salmon, salmon sashimi, cray fish, huge prawns, two very big chilli crabs, some lobster and fish finally poisoned me and I am still in the therapy. It has been more than TWO WEEKS!!!!

 

今天。

我捐了。

 

四川地震

缅甸暴风。

 

希望我的微薄之力能够有点帮助。

在四川，那些原本很平静很美丽的村庄，霎时间哀鸿遍野，一片狼藉。在那里，只剩下了三种人：在夹缝中挣扎着的还有最后一丝呼吸的人，在废墟里痛苦着昏迷不醒的人，还有那些不知幸运还是不幸，被解救出来却一直在生死离别的悲痛中痛哭的人。

 

学校塌了，孩子死了。

 

 

桥梁断了，可是救灾必须继续。

 

面对这大批的灾民，我们能做些什么？

 

 

老板今天发了“what I know and what I don't Know.ppt" 给我，一位同时看到了惊呼：“我好想马上飞到四川加入救援。”可是，我们可以嘛？我们负担的起嘛？

One hour ago I was in a theatre enjoying the americanising show, Iron man.

 

It is again a herotic story, as American movies have always been, with a rather strong sensation of ethics and accountability, which as well has often been featured in this outdating era of American works. Nevertheless, in vain I could deny the efforts on the luxuriant effect, in vain I could reject the simple but meaningful plot, and in vain I could blind myself from the outstanding performance of the actor, and of course, the actress. It is, to the least extend, not a bad movie to watch, as long as the purpose is entertainment, hopefully with few things else.

 

They have named it, "Iron Man", though in few ways it could explained why "IRON" has been selected. The man is in Gold-Platinium alloy, powered by nuclear energy, who could only be possibly degraded by the word "Iron". However, The "Iron" man is in deed IRONIC, with the mission of destroying the weapons that he was once famous for, though the aim remains -- to safeguard the world and to promote peace. Being the intersection of metalic and ironic, "iron" may thus be selected.

 

In time for the nation's weapon maker and war lover, our Great Bush, stepping down, this movie comes. The terrorist is powerful, to all but the weapon maker; the latter crashed the former like a bug and become a giant terrorist, at least in the movie itself. However with limited induction & deduction skills, I do not know how to interpret this seemingly meanful message, being much more complicated than I could appreciate. 

 

Time for sleep, and so will I.

 

 

一位老人。一张大大的床。

 

一位老人已经习惯了躺在那张大大的床上，可是床，却将永远是空荡荡。

 

他开心，他快乐，他愤怒，他失落，床记载了岁月的蹉跎。

 

也许离开是种解脱，也许不变的是那永远不能兑现的承诺。

 

生亦何欢，死亦何苦。纵然知晓，也掩不住内心的哀默。

 

 

一位老人，一幅永恒的笑。

 

一位老人笑过了一生，可是笑，终究不是永恒。

 

病魔，已俨然夺去了往日的逍遥，取而代之的，只有沮丧和迷茫。

 

看着老人挣扎，癫狂，血在我内心翻滚着淌。

生亦何欢，死亦何苦。纵然知晓，也掩不住内心的绝望。

 

 

明天，是个特别的日子。在他乡。

 

他，是个特别的人。在远方。

 

没有他的支助，焉有我今日的辉煌？

 

可是我无法飞到他的身旁，无法陪他度过最后的时光。

 

能做的，也许只能把祝福在心底深深的收藏。

 

 

 

走好

 

老人

 

 

 

 

 

写于葬礼前夜。

 

 

 

This is what I have for my lunch, which took me half an hour to prepare and half an hour to cook.

 

 

 

 

 

脚车，又名单车，自行车，曾经是孩提时用有的唯一的交通工具，又一次踏进了我的生活。

 

每每拜六，踏上脚车，风一般地在路上穿梭，不失为一件乐事。过去的几周，皆是从bukit panjang 到 bukit gombak,虽然单程只有半个小时，却要翻过两三个小山包，并不轻松。但是大汗淋漓之后，却也有一种说不出的快感。

 

bukit bombak 附近有一个市场。市场里面有一海鲜摊。鱼很新鲜，品种非常全，但并不太便宜。而且大抵都是要靠挤，靠吼的。虽然不是很喜欢那种感觉，但是他的鱼真的很有诱惑力，所以还是每周都光顾了。

 

已经迷恋上脚车了，今年的目标就是骑着脚车踏遍新加坡我知道的每一个角落。下一条路线将是Bukit panjang --> woodland --> Sembawang--> Yishun --> Ang Mo Kio -->Bishan --> Bukit Timah -->Bukit Panjang. 估计需要4-5个小时，因该还是可以接受的。

 

 

最后，就是在一位超强的mm的blog看到的sudoku,骨灰级玩家可以去尝试一下。